I am very sad today. My father, whom I was very close to and adored very much (even though he was a stubborn, know-it-all Irishman), died March 6th, two years ago. One of our employees, whom we also adore, is likely losing someone she is very close to. And our friend, Jenn, who we haven’t seen in a long time, called this morning to say she was coming to the restaurant tonight, and in catching up, said she had just lost her father and has had 3 other major losses in the last year.
Losing people that you love is damn near the hardest thing that a person can do. Getting over it, or at least, learning to get up every morning and get on with your life, is even harder.
It’s been almost two years since I lost my dad, and that scar is as fresh as the day it was cut into my flesh. To make it worse, I lost my dad to lung cancer and brain tumors caused from metastisized lung cancer, all a result of lifelong cigarette use. Watching someone you love go slowly and not-so-gently into that night from being a bit on the crazy side due to brain tumors is not a picnic, and should always be softened by much understanding (difficult at times to say the least) and a lot of vodka (or your other sedative of choice).
I HATE cigarettes. It breaks my heart every time I see someone stick one in their face. I used to be a smoker. Don was, too. I quit nearly 12 years ago, about the same for him. Lucky, too, or I never would have been the least bit interested in him if I had smelled cigarettes on his breath. I still think, from time to time, particularly when under stress, that I’d love to take a big, long drag off of one. But I don’t. You can’t go back. It’s a trail that leads only downward and to self-loathing.
My rambling point being, we all inevitably have to go, and those we leave behind have to find a way to get on with their lives, even though it feels like there’s no point, like life is not worth getting out of bed for, like there is nothing worthy enough out there in the sunlight (or rain) in the big blue world to make you want to take a shower, comb your hair, put a smile on your face, and brave the day.
But life does go on. And there are SO many wonderful, beautiful things out in the big, blue world to be excited about. A beautiful sunrise, the inexplicable joy in a child’s laughter, an understanding smile from a friend, the joy of giving without expecting anything in return, the unconditional love of a dog (nature’s true healers).
Taking great care in savoring these things is what gets us back on the path of life, and reminds us that there are such wonderful, beautiful things in this world that they can pull us back from the brink of despair. So all of you, whether having a good day or a bad one, look around you and count all the things you have to be thankful for. And I’ll do the same. Life is good, but sometimes appreciating all its wonders and small joys we take for granted. Don’t take it for granted today.
Well put and thank you for this.