Twilight Pizza Bistro Blog

Photo Courtesy Lisa Fenderson

“Ask and you shall receive,” my dad used to say. I have to laugh now thinking about that phrase and what a great sense of humor my father had. My dad worked for the government most of his adult life in one capacity or another. Because of his keen intellect and grasp of irony, working in a large bureaucracy afforded him many opportunities to see the ridiculousness in a lot of situations. A recent interpretation of ORS 471.403 by the Oregon Liquor Control Commission comes into play now for homebrewers whose hands have been tied simply because a brewery asked a simple question that should have returned a simple (and logical) answer. Ask and you shall receive-but probably not what you wanted or were anticipating.

The question was simple enough. Deschutes Brewery asked if homebrewers could bring their beers to an event at their brewery. (Source: Keep handcrafter beer and wine at home, Oregon state officials say by Jessical Van Berkel, The Oregonian) Now, being a restaurant owner, I understand why they asked the question-the LAST thing any bar, restaurant, or brewery wants to do is get on the wrong side of any liquor regulatory agency. When we ask questions of these agencies, it’s because we are all acutely aware of the need to follow the letter of the law or risk our license and our livelihood. We do, however, expect a level of intelligence in interpretation of the intent of the laws in place. Unfortunately for the agents interpreting these laws and the people affected by them, the laws in place are not always intelligent. Many laws were put into place so long ago that their intent no longer represents the intent of the state. For homebrewers and winemakers in the state of Oregon, this was the case. The answer they got was that no, they couldn’t by law take their craft creations anywhere outside of their own homes. This puts a terrible crimp on many summer competitions where homebrewing and winemaking afficionados go show off their abilities. In Portland particularly, a city known worldwide as the birthplace of many world-class brews, that’s a BIG deal. The law, obviously, needs to be changed. But we all know that getting a law changed is easier said than done.

We have similarly silly liquor laws here in Washington, but I won’t bore you with the details here. Let it suffice to say that all states have silly laws in place that the legislature, with budget shortages and problems spilling out of their ears, aren’t about to deal with anytime soon. However, the Oregon legislature should deal with this one, as their very lucrative beer and wine industry was built by the very people whose hands they have now bound. I can hear my father laughing his ass off at this from wherever he is up in the great beyond.

So, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is upset with the American Veterinary Medical Association. Why? Because they are holding their annual convention in Seattle this year, and they’ve asked the world famous Pike Place fish throwers to do a demo for the vets’ entertainment.

Can't we all just get along???

Now, I used to be a vegetarian. My cholesterol, however, couldn’t take it. My body is carnivorous, and it does better when I feed it high quality animal protein, like oh, say, salmon, for example. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care about animals or feel that animals should be abused. However, THESE FISH ARE DEAD. These fish throwers have been doing this for I don’t know how long, but a long, long time. They’re a major Seattle tourist attraction, they are not killing them just to throw them around and then throw them away, so where’s the harm? Does PETA really not have any place better to put their efforts?

Is it wrong of me to find this humorous?  I sympathize with PETA’s mission to protect all animals, but this is, well, a little silly to me. Click on the link below and view the video for yourself and see if my sense of humor is becoming a bit bizarre.

Pike Place Fish Throwers and PETA Disagree on Appropriateness of Fish Tossing Demo at Vet Convention

Time is a funny thing. When you’re a kid, it seems a bottomless supply of hours and days, moving so slowly you wonder if you’ll ever grow up. In your early adult life, you can’t wait for time to pass quickly so you can get to the next landmark date–the day you can get your driver’s license, your graduation day, turning 21…it all seems to pass at a turtle’s pace and you wonder if you’ll ever get to where you want to be.

As you move into life’s more serious pursuits–career and family–time moves so fast, you feel like Einstein is playing some horrible physics joke that you are somehow too dense to understand. Why does an hour suddenly pass in a matter of seconds, days like minutes, weeks like hours. What kind of evil cosmic joke is this?  Why can you suddenly never get the time to have a quiet evening at home with your significant other, take a walk in the woods, or just sleep for a whole, glorious day?

I think that this must somehow go in reverse once you get to retirement age, or at least I hope it does.  Hopefully, time will go at that glorious turtle’s pace again where it seems like time stands still almost.  Is this where we get to fingerpaint again, take a barefoot walk through a stream, and shriek at its fresh, amazing cold?  Spend hours laughing at stories that we’ve heard from our loved ones a hundred times before, but the retelling and the time spent together in the retelling makes them all the more precious?  Is there a way we can steal a little of this “slow time” for today and spend some of these ever so important moments now?  I hope so.  I’d like to try.  I bet so many of you would give your pinky toe to spend some slow time with your family, friends, and maybe even just some “me” time for yourselves.

I love the quote I headed this post with–it brings our time home to us in a concrete way that makes us understand just how valuable our time is, and how it is a waste to spend it in ways that do not make us shiver, smile, laugh, cry, or hug someone just to let them know they are not alone.  Spend some of that time today telling the people you love just how important they are to you.  Smile and wave at a neighbor who you’ve never spoken to before.  Tell the person behind you in line at the grocery store a funny joke you just heard.  Help someone today…just for the good feeling it leaves you with.  Tell your kids how amazing and wonderful they are, even if you’re going through a bumpy ride with them right now.  It will matter later.  All these things will.  It is these coins of compassion, love, and laughter that we give by which we will eventually measure our lives.

I am lucky enough to know someone who can put a smile on almost anyone’s face at any time, no matter how awful or stressful the situation.  What an amazing gift to have, and what a gift to be able to give to others.  Give those gifts that you know you have within you.  It matters.  And people do appreciate it, whether they express that appreciation or not.  Know that when you give those things, it makes you, and the world, a better place.  (And I think it adds to your “coin bank” too.)

Summer is a particularly spectacular time in the Pacific Northwest (although, in my opinion, any season in the PNW is spectacular).  The sun shines on our beautiful, snowcapped mountains and our lush green landscapes.  The skies are blue, the birds are singing, people are all smiles, and love is in the air.

True love is not as rare as some might think.  I know quite a few couples who are completely, sweetly, sickeningly, and happily in love after many years of marriage.  This is no trick, no quirk of luck or fate.  They married their best friend, the person who they couldn’t imagine not seeing or speaking to every day.  They respect each other because they love their partners from the inside out, and they never forget that the bond between them is one of respect and mutual like.  Love is based on liking.

Love can build from physical attraction, although it is no more than a starting point.  I think we’ve all been excessively attracted to someone that, after getting to know them a bit, they suddenly become much less attractive.  A person is a whole package…sometimes you give a little bit in one area to get something you value more in another.  Why?  Because love is an agreement between two people that they love the whole package, not just parts of it.

Agreements, as we all know, are easily broken by humans, as we are all so flawed and fallible.  But love says “I will do my best to suppress the stupidity in me brought on by my being human, and I will do everything within my power to honor you and the commitment that I’ve made to you.”  Why am I exploring this topic, you may ask?  Is something wrong?

No, absolutely not.  In fact, just the opposite.  Running a restaurant is exhausting, difficult, time-consuming and all-engrossing (yes, and very rewarding).  Having 17 employees sometimes feels like running a three-ring circus (full of people that we love dearly).  Being an active member of our community takes a lot of time, too.  Sometimes, my husband and I forget to be a couple in lieu of the demands of being restaurant owners and community members.  Sometimes, our business commitments feel somewhat like the other woman (or man), stealing our spouse away from us (I know he feels the same at times).

My commitment to him is that this summer, come hell or high water (which it seems like we as a nation are in a little of each right now - hell AND high water) that we will enjoy the rites of summer in the beautiful place where we choose to live.  We are going to take a hike.  Have a picnic by one of our many beautiful waterfalls.  Go camping so we can drink Kahlua and coffee while roasting marshmallows over a fire looking up at a starry sky.  Because I love him, and because life is short.  I won’t miss out on these things with him.

So, my friends, if we are, on the occasional weekend absent and letting our crew run the show, you will have to forgive us.  We’ve a life to live as well as a restaurant to run.  And I think we can do both well without sacrificing the other.  And I’m willing to test that theory.  And, hopefully, you will support us in that choice.  I so don’t want to be singing some husband/wife variation of “Cat’s in the Cradle” ten years from now.  We will respect our commitment to you, as well, by making sure that we have the best people possible manning the ship.  Hey, and y’all should sow some oats of your own.  Life is beautiful here.  Let’s all get out a bit and make the best of it!

I am very sad today.  My father, whom I was very close to and adored very much (even though he was a stubborn, know-it-all Irishman), died March 6th, two years ago.  One of our employees, whom we also adore, is likely losing someone she is very close to.  And our friend, Jenn, who we haven’t seen in a long time, called this morning to say she was coming to the restaurant tonight, and in catching up, said she had just lost her father and has had 3 other major losses in the last year.

Losing people that you love is damn near the hardest thing that a person can do.  Getting over it, or at least, learning to get up every morning and get on with your life, is even harder.

It’s been almost two years since I lost my dad, and that scar is as fresh as the day it was cut into my flesh.  To make it worse, I lost my dad to lung cancer and brain tumors caused from metastisized lung cancer, all a result of lifelong cigarette use.  Watching someone you love go slowly and not-so-gently into that night from being a bit on the crazy side due to brain tumors is not a picnic, and should always be softened by much understanding (difficult at times to say the least) and a lot of vodka (or your other sedative of choice).

I HATE cigarettes.  It breaks my heart every time I see someone stick one in their face.  I used to be a smoker.  Don was, too.  I quit nearly 12 years ago, about the same for him.  Lucky, too, or I never would have been the least bit interested in him if I had smelled cigarettes on his breath.  I still think, from time to time, particularly when under stress, that I’d love to take a big, long drag off of one.  But I don’t.  You can’t go back.  It’s a trail that leads only downward and to self-loathing.

My rambling point being, we all inevitably have to go, and those we leave behind have to find a way to get on with their lives, even though it feels like there’s no point, like life is not worth getting out of bed for, like there is nothing worthy enough out there in the sunlight (or rain) in the big blue world to make you want to take a shower, comb your hair, put a smile on your face, and brave the day.

But life does go on.  And there are SO many wonderful, beautiful things out in the big, blue world to be excited about.  A beautiful sunrise, the inexplicable joy in a child’s laughter, an understanding smile from a friend, the joy of giving without expecting anything in return, the unconditional love of a dog (nature’s true healers).

Taking great care in savoring these things is what gets us back on the path of life, and reminds us that there are such wonderful, beautiful things in this world that they can pull us back from the brink of despair.  So all of you, whether having a good day or a bad one, look around you and count all the things you have to be thankful for.  And I’ll do the same.  Life is good, but sometimes appreciating all its wonders and small joys we take for granted.  Don’t take it for granted today.

We don’t watch a lot of TV.  This isn’t some snobby thing for us, like “Oh, we don’t watch a lot of television…it’s just so gauche.”  No, we just don’t have much time at home.  Our TV time is spent watching things we DVR so we aren’t prisoners to whatever is on when we get home at 10 or 11 at night.  And I hate to admit this, but we watch American Idol, aired on the Fox network.  I can’t help myself…I am addicted to this prime-time talent search.  I love to see some kids get a shot at their dream, and some of them actually make it happen.  That does my heart good.

The great thing about a DVR is that you can fast-forward through the commercials.  Unfortunately, though, our timing isn’t always spot-on, and sometimes we suffer the slings and arrows of whatever is currently being pushed by the ever-so gentile Fox.  Their current push is for “The Moment of Truth,” a show that offends me down to my bones.

I haven’t watch this show, and I never will.  The premise appears to be to put people intimately involved in each other’s lives (husband/wife, brother/sister, father/son…you get the gist) and ask them intimate, offensive, and potentially relationship-damaging questions, all in the name of “truth.”  They ask questions like asking a wife if her ex-boyfriend wanted to get back together with her, would she leave her husband (with the husband present and watching the answer).  She’s hooked up to a lie detector, and her real feelings will be revealed regardless of how she answers the question.  If she lies, she loses all the accumulated winnings.  Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.  Of course, anyone who would subject their relationship to such nastiness in the hopes of winning some money is either financially or morally bankrupt.

What a pile of dung.  Truth, Fox, really?  I think they are confusing truth with a lack of common decency.  This is the same “truth” that we see too much in our society where a total stranger will make comment to someone about their weight, or hair, or makeup.  Honesty is not a lack of grace and courtesy, it is ”the human quality of communicating and acting truthful and with fairness, as best one is able. It is related to truth as a value. This includes listening, reasoning and any action in the human repertoire — as well as speaking” as defined by Wikipedia.  “Value” and “fairness” being key words here, people.

Honesty is not revealing the most hurtful thing you can think of…kindness and fairness should always be brought into consideration when “honesty” is in play.  Somewhere in our society, we took a wrong turn and are confusing cruelty with honesty.  Shame on us.  It says something about our society as a whole that a show like this is even tolerated.

So join me in my boycott of this offense to humanity.  Show the networks that we don’t always want to see the ugly underbelly of society.  I’d rather watch the sappy, good-hearted Extreme Home Makeover that tugs so obviously at my heartstrings than tolerate for one moment a show that promotes visciousness of the lowest sort.

So, we closed the restaurant on the day of the big game Sunday (I understand the name of the bowl is trademarked and I can be sued for using it :-(~ ) in order to go to Walla Walla to see our nephew, Matt, before he leaves for Iraq (he’s a Marine in his third term of service).  It’s a long drive to Walla Walla (approximately 4 hours one-way), and a long drive back, but well worth it to be able to see him and wish him a safe journey and a safer trip home into the arms of his wife and 3 year-old daughter.  Closing the restaurant was the only way we could get away for long enough to enable us to go (a whole two days, as we are always closed on Mondays).

Now, we felt that the restaurant would be empty anyway that day as we don’t have any televisions in the restaurant, and talking to other merchants and restaurant owners, their assessment was that we would be extremely slow so there was no great risk to our bottom line in closing for this one day.  We also felt that if we explained the situation, most, if not all, of our patrons would be very understanding.

This morning, upon our arrival back at the restaurant, I checked the answering machine.  On it was a man with a very limited vocabulary, his primary verb and adjective being the *f* word, who told us *f* us for thinking that our nephew going to Iraq was more important than him and his getting pizza on the day of the big game.

Mr. *F*, as I will from here on out affectionately refer to you, please take your business elsewhere.  I do not know who you are and was unable to obtain your identity, as you have your caller ID blocked and the police department was unable to help me due to this identity blockage.  My guess is that you frequently make these inane phone calls and need to block your identity to hide who you are from those you harass and cuss.  But I don’t care what your name is.  I know you are a small man with a smaller mind.  DON’T come back to our restaurant.

Regardless of how anyone feels about the war in Iraq, we should all support the men and women who have the guts to go off to war.  It is because of soldiers like our nephew that we all get to sit in our safe houses in our safe neighborhoods and eat pizza on the day of the big game.  And to Mr. *F*, I hope you choked a little on whatever pizza you wound up shoving down your throat.  Do you kiss your mama with that mouth?

Does it show our age that we still want to call them albums?  Here are some of our choices for our all-time favorites…what are yours?

• Kind of Blue, Miles Davis
• Greatest Hits, Electric Light Orchestra
• The Joshua Tree, U2
• Corinne Bailey Rae, Corinne Bailey Rae
• Twentysomething, Jamie Cullum
• Greatest Hits, Sly and the Family Stone
• Let It Be, The Beatles
• The Cars, The Cars
• So, Peter Gabriel
• Reggatta de Blanc, The Police
• Greatest Hits 71-75, The Eagles
• Parachutes, Coldplay
• Blue, Joni Mitchell
• The Wall, Pink Floyd

Sometimes in our quest to get the many things done in a day that we feel we must do, we forget that the journey is the really important thing, not the destination.  This lesson is acutely demonstrated to me on a daily basis in this difficult, multi-tasking-overloaded, physically and mentally demanding business.  It is hard to take time to stop and appreciate all the blessings that surround us: » Read the rest of this entry «